Do you appreciate yourself? How many people reading this can honestly say they love themselves, warts and all?
Loving ourselves is not an easy thing to do because we tend to be affected by how we were treated in childhood. We focus on the bad bits of that, and carry them throughout our adulthood, unless we deliberately change our beliefs and attitudes.
At this the of my life, I love every part of me, even the bits that I might not think are flattering. They go to make me the unique and wonderful person I am now. When I pass a mirror, I usually think: What a gorgeous gal you are. Just go out there and wow them! Twenty years ago, riddled with pain and angst, it was more like: What a crap woman you are, so terrible looking too!
What a difference twenty years, self-knowledge and contentment make. I would not dare to repeat some of the trauma I had in my youth, but I am a living example that we can change ourselves, our perception and our belief in what is possible, if we are keen to do so.
Self Love Test
If you really want to know just how much you appreciate or value yourself, try this simple test:
Which comes easier to you: listing 5 faults or 5 strengths?
How long did it take you to do each list? The length of time is crucial here. You are likely to think of five NEGATIVE things far quicker than five positive ones because it is easy to find fault with our amazing bodes than it is to appreciate simply being alive!
The tragedy is that, if you don't love yourself, how can any other human being love you? How can they love what you yourself reject? It really isn't possible. That is why many relationships break up because of a lack of self love. It is really hard work for other people to love what we can't stand because we will always doubt their love and their actions.
True love starts from the self. If we love ourselves it is easy to spread that love outwards to others to appreciate their love for us. If we don't love ourselves, we also spread that negative view, finding fault constantly with partners too. They can never do anything right for us.
If you made your faults list much faster, the key question to ask yourself today is this: What would make you 'better' in your own eyes, and would you ever love yourself, no matter how much you were 'remedied'?
For a more detailed look at how much you really value and appreciate yourself, try this quiz.
©Elaine Sihera (Ms CYPRAH) 2012
Emotional Health and People Management Consultant
"Happiness is a state of being. We are the ones who decide whether we wish to be happy or not, by the script we use inside our heads."