Someone said recently, "If you tell someone one thing that isn't working, and four things that do, the only thing the person thinks about is what doesn't work."
A most important comment, and so true. But we mustn't forget where that comes from - our childhood! We bring home our school report, which is very good but has one bad comment, and that's the one parents will seize upon and use to judge our whole performance in their sad need for perfection. Everything else will be ignored, or will take second place to that omission! No wonder children grow up believing that they have to be perfect and the only thing that matters is ironing out the weaknesses instead of appreciating the strengths.
Yet, life is about BALANCE, and those things that don't work are as much a part of the unique us as vibrant ever-developing humans as the things that do. If you took them away and we did achieve 'perfection', not only would we stagnate in the same situation for the rest of our lives (we would stop growing and learning!), we would also NOT be the same person. We would entirely be someone else!
As a general rule, people who focus the most on 'wrong' things tend to be insecure in themselves, hate making mistakes (yet mistakes help us to learn) and are perfectionists at heart, who lack the confidence to accept that balance or improving gradually. Most people who feel good about themselves will be celebrating any achievement, and using them as motivation, not ignoring them to concentrate on the 'failures'.
The greatest fulfilment comes from being ourselves, warts and all. It means we will always seek opportunities for more growth and new experiences while those new strengths and 'weaknesses' are continually changing to match our inevitable revolution and changing perspectives in life.
©Elaine Sihera (Ms CYPRAH) 2011
Emotional Health and People Management Consultant
"Respect and love begin with the self. If we have none, how can we give away any?"