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Stress tends to creep up on us without us realising it because our home (especially relationships) and our jobs (money) often take their toll as we try to balance domestic responsibilities with work ones. But living with undue stress is not an option. It keeps us in an agitated state, weakens our immune system and ultimately kills. Not a good place to be. If you;re not sure just how stressed you are, there are six significant signs which show that stress is affecting your daily life:
1. Constant worry and anxiety: If you get up each day with a frown, or even a headache, and the first thing you do is to worry about tasks in the day instead of giving thanks just to be alive, you are under stress. When you cannot see a way out, have a personality clash with the boss, or find yourself constantly finding fault/having arguments with your partner, shouting at the children or finding it difficult to simply relax, you are under immense stress.
2. Feeling overwhelmed: At these times, it is easy to feel overwhelmed, to feel as though the world is on your shoulders. It then makes you feel impotent, vulnerable and lacking in the energy and strength to complete simple tasks. Everything becomes a burden or a chore instead of being enjoyable.
3. Lack of focus: It is difficult to focus on any one thing, or for any length of time, because so many things need your attention. Your attention span becomes shorter and shorter, you tend to daydream a lot, to worry more and to act less as fear becomes the overriding factor in your life.
4. A feeling of not being able to do anything right: This is the time you also feel under the microscope, as if everyone is watching everything falling around you. It is also the time that partners and bosses are likely to become more critical and unappreciative of your efforts, especially when you would be trying so hard too. As you are unable to focus, you are likely to make more mistakes while your desire to please is likely to go unrecognised.
5. Feeling isolated and alone: Being stressed is a very isolating time because we tend to bear it stoically instead of sharing it with others until we are forced to. When we are stressed, we tend to retreat into ourselves to cope, rather than seeking help and that increases our fears and vulnerability.
6. Inability to sleep well: It is difficult to sleep when you are worried, which simply aggravates everything else; makes you tired and lethargic and even more irritable with others. Yet adequate sleep is important to boost that feeling of competence and strength.
The main ways to overcome stress are to:
a. Face your fears and anxieties. Whatever they are, face them head on and examine your options. Once you face them, solutions usually surface. If the main problem is your job, then talk to your boss or try to get another job. But doing nothing is not an option.
b. Talk to your partner/children and enlist their help, especially if you might have too much to do. Emphasise how you actually feel about your life and the way things are going.
c. Take time-out for yourself, regularly. Sometimes we can go on working like robots when just taking time to do something different, to pamper ourselves, say once per week, and to have quality time with our family could go a long way to reducing the feeling of stress and restoring some magic into our lives.
d. Learn to relax and pay attention to priorities instead of every little minor thing. Today will continue with or without you. Don't try to control everything. Let it go while you simply do your best. Once you learn to let go, things have a way of sorting themselves out too.
For more information: The Sihera Confidence Guide©
(especially "Confidence and Success" and "How Confidence is Lost")
©Elaine Sihera (Ms CYPRAH) 2010
Emotional Health and People Management Consultant
"Respect and love begin with the self. If we have none, how can we give away any?"
